Downstairs, a sparsely stocked shop selling assorted bars of fancy chocolate. Upstairs, the café. At the top of the stairs there was a large sign, which read “please wait here to be seated”. We waited. A waitress who was picking her fingers and looking away motioned with her head towards a table over the far side of the café. Assuming she was seating us, we went and sat at it. At the table to our right a group of 6 young people. To our left, 2 couples who looked as though they were dressed for a wedding. The menu boasted of freshly made, locally sourced produce. I sensed that The Chocolate Café were very proud of their locally sourced produce. I wondered how local Goosnargh was to Ramsbottom. I saw a woman at a nearby table eating a sandwich made of sliced white, supermarket bread. We ordered a hot chocolate and an Americano Coffee.
The wedding party left, they hadn’t eaten or drank anything. As I cast my eyes around I observed that the majority of the customers, and there were many, were dining on coffee and cake. The slices of cakes looked as if they had been sourced from the local Cash & Carry. The wedding party’s table was quickly filled by a young family with their baby. One of the surly waiters scurried off for a high chair and on his return he accidentally poked Danny in the back with the high chair legs, causing Danny to lunge forward in shock. The young people next to us were presented with coffees in tall glasses and slices of the aforementioned, likely to be Cash & Carry, chocolate cake.
We waited 25 minutes for our drinks to be brought to us. My milk jug was chipped. My coffee was ok, average tasting. Danny’s hot chocolate was presented to him with the instruction that he should make sure he gives it a good stir. Danny said he wanted a sensation but what he got he said you wouldn’t kill your mother for.
We got up to leave. As I approached the counter I asked for the bill; we were asked what table we had been on, handed a bill and instructed to pay at the counter downstairs. On our way down the stairs I suggested to Danny that we could leave without paying. No one would have noticed us leaving, there was a man on the till taking payments and he didn’t look up. As we took our place in the queue I was hoping the man on the till would ask us how everything was. I wanted to say that waiting 25 minutes for 2 drinks was unacceptable, I wanted to ask where the cakes had come from and who had made them. I wanted to tell him that my coffee was tasteless. I wanted to ask whether or not the hot chocolate was made from water or milk. I wanted to tell him that his drinks were overpriced. Instead he didn’t look at me as I handed over £6.10.
There was a menu card on our table which read “If you would prefer your food quicker there is a McDonalds in Bury town centre"
McDonalds would have been a million times better. The coffee is nicer there too and is only £1.19
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